


dear my love, haven't you longed to be free

by alexofmacedonia



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, and carmilla the gay disaster, feat. baby vamp laura, predicted future of the carmilla finale, who is a very clumsy kitten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-20 20:55:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4801937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexofmacedonia/pseuds/alexofmacedonia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>prompt: Carmilla teaching Laura how to be a vampire. Laura being an absolute klutz of course. She doesn’t know her own strength so she accidentally breaks stuff, like doors because she would rip it off its hinges.</p>
            </blockquote>





	dear my love, haven't you longed to be free

**Author's Note:**

  * For [misssuchaflirt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/misssuchaflirt/gifts).



> This begins as a speculation to the finale and how baby vamp!Laura could happen, so there's some depictions of violence. The death in the warning is basically just about Laura becoming a vampire, but also someone else, but they aren't important in the grand scheme. ;)
> 
> The title is from "Anywhere" by Evanescence.

With sorrow in her heart, remorse and pain and anger evident in her eyes, and dead demigod anglerfish blood coursing through her veins, Laura glared across the quad at Vordenberg.

He was seated on the back of a giant black wolf, which had a white V marking on its forehead, matching the marks Laura had seen on the foreheads of Danny, Kirsch, and the others. Upon noticing Laura, Vordenberg raised a golden, bejeweled scepter above his head, and his army of mind-controlled Zetas and Summers turned to look at her in unison. If she wasn't already so used to the absolute weirdness of Silas, that might have freaked her out. Instead, she steeled herself for what must be done, and began walking diagonally across the quad.

The charred remains of an Alchemy Club student had been left where he had fallen, as a warning to any others who tried to rise up against the new Board Chair. The poor kid had found the Sword of Hastur in the pit, and made it twenty yards before the sword's powers consumed his life force.

Laura knelt beside him, trying to find anything remotely recognizable in his features, and whispered a request for forgiveness that she'd caused everything to get this bad, that she was responsible for yet another innocent person's death. With Danny's voice in the back of her mind - _"Laura, don't do this. You don't know_ what _the fish blood will do to you, or if you'll be able to wield the sword, or if you'll survive using it. This is suicide!"_ \- she pried the golden hilt from the burnt boy's hand.

At first it felt like the sword was the heaviest thing in the world, but as she turned back toward the assembled army, it grew infinitely lighter. It was as if it had a mind of its own, as if it knew who she wanted to kill, and it agreed. Laura could feel a tickling around the edges of her body (the edges of her soul?), and as she moved like a prowling cat directly toward the crowd, she felt like she was floating instead of walking.

She briefly wondered if she could be okay with it if she only made it another few feet, like that boy on the ground behind her. Part of her felt that it would be enough, it would show that she was sorry, that she was acknowledging all of her mistakes and was trying to make up for them. But a larger part knew she had to see this through. Power through any physical pain (of which there was currently none, and she wondered if the fish blood was to thank for that), and do her job.

Laura stopped just out of arm's reach of the nearest Zeta, his unseeing eyes staring through her, but his body tensed and ready to attack.

"Be reasonable, _Fräulein_ ," came the mocking tone, Vordenberg's voice cutting through the silence like a whip. "Do you really think you can get through my powerful army? How many of them do you suppose you can slay before they wipe your miserable existence from the planet?" He laughed and raised the scepter aloft again, preparing to command them to tear Laura limb from limb.

As soon as his arm stopped moving upward though, a pulse of something rushed through the air, bringing a high-pitched noise with it. The pulse traveled over the artifact in Vordenberg's hand, and immediately the Zetas and Summers began dropping like flies. They were unconscious, but no longer under any outside force's control.

The wolf carrying the baron dropped as well, causing him to fall off its back. It jerked for a moment before transforming back into a student, and Laura was momentarily surprised to see that it was Mel.

Breathing a sigh of relief that LaFontaine and JP's plan to interfere with the mind control device worked, Laura took a step toward Vordenberg, who was scrambling to his feet. "I don't think I'll actually have to take any of them out." She allowed a small smirk to appear for a second, and then charged.

Whether it was the demigod blood she drank, or some power given to her by the sword, Laura ran the length of the quad much faster than she expected. Before she knew it, everything was happening at once, and Laura couldn't do anything to stop it.

Ignoring the glint in the old man's eye as he turned his body away from her and stuck his hand inside his suit jacket, Laura raised the sword above her head with both hands. It felt like it was humming, and she silently prayed for this to work, no matter the outcome for herself. LaF and JP were back at the Dean's house, watching over a tied-up Danny and Kirsch, a comatose Perry, and a freshly-revived Mattie, ready to move the group to a safer location off campus if she didn't succeed here.

But she would succeed. She had to. This was the answer. The way to fix all of her problems, everything that she had messed up so terribly. Vordenberg had to die, even if the sword killed her too.

(Especially if the sword killed her too.)

A voice that Laura would recognize anywhere cried out as she swung the sword at the baron of lies. "Laura! No!"

Things were happening so fast. Laura couldn't tell if the sword made contact with Vordenberg before or after a loud bang rocked her eardrums; before or after there was a sudden pain in her chest.

She fell backward empty-handed, the sword firmly lodged in the middle of the baron's chest. Stunned, it took her a moment to realize her head was being cradled in someone's lap. No, not 'someone'. Carmilla.

"Carm?"

The other woman tried to smile through her tears. "Hey, cupcake. You're going to be okay." She felt Carmilla press a hand firmly against her stomach. "You're okay."

"Did it work?" Laura looked to her side and saw the crumpled body of Cornelius Hans Albrecht, former Lugenbaron von Vordenberg. Good, it had worked. Maybe Carmilla could forgive her now, as she lay dying from using the Sword of Hastur.

A cold sensation crept over her, spreading from her fingers and toes inward. "Carm, I'm so sorry. About Mattie, and Danny, and... and everything. I'm so sorry."

Carmilla barely contained a sob as she replied, "I know. It's okay, sweetheart. I forgive you."

"Mattie, she..." Laura was cut off by a cough that racked her body.

"I know, she's alive. I saw your video, and stopped by the house before coming here, to try and stop, well, this." The fingers of Carmilla's other hand stroked through Laura's hair slowly.

"I'm... I'm sorry."

"I know. It's okay."

"Carm, I... I love you." The hand in her hair stilled. "I just wanted to... to be by your side, and love you for as long... as long as possible, and I sc-screwed everything up so badly, and--"

"Laura, do you want forever?"

"More than anything, Carm."

Laura felt a hand raise her chin to look Carmilla properly in the eyes. They were still filled with tears, but she wasn't actually crying anymore. She was wearing the most serious expression Laura had ever seen. "You know what I'm offering. Do you want it?"

If she had the strength, Laura might have looked more confused. "But... but the sword. I used it, and now... I'm dying because I used the sword. It won't work if you try to turn me." She coughed again, but this time it was weaker.

She was running out of time.

"Magic isn't what is killing you; the fish blood probably countered the sword. Laura, he shot you."

Another glance at the baron proved Carmilla to be right, as Laura noticed a small handgun next to him. She laughed darkly. After everything she'd experienced at Silas, who knew it would be something so mundane that would kill her?

"Laura, please, you need to tell me right now if you want this."

Her voice was strong, firm. "I do."

She saw Carmilla bend down, felt a sharp pain rip through her body, and then her world went black.

* * *

Three days later, Laura woke up with a gasp. Carmilla was immediately at her side, pressing a sippy cup full of blood into her hands and soothing her hair away from her face. The cup was empty within a minute, and Laura readily accepted a second cup, taking five minutes to drink that one.

"It worked, Laura. You're okay." The corners of Carmilla's lips turned up into a rare smile.

Running her tongue over the sharp points of her incisors, Laura grinned. "I'm more than okay, Carm." She reached over to rest a hand on Carmilla's cheek. "I'm alive. I'm here because of you. Thank you."

Carmilla kissed her gently on her forehead. "Come on, creampuff. I have a lot to teach you before you can rejoin your friends." She went to stand, but found herself flying backward onto the bed beside Laura, whose eyes were comically wide with surprise at how easily she'd done that. "Careful, Laura, you're a lot stronger than you used to be. You're lucky I can handle it."

"Oh, wow, I'm so sorry!" She ducked her head. "I guess I don't know my own strength yet."

"And that's why you're going to learn about your new abilities, so you don't accidentally kill one of your friends." She patted Laura's leg and stood, crossing the room to dump the dirty cups in the sink.

Laura looked around as she threw her legs over the side of the bed. It looked like an abandoned dorm room, and it was mostly empty, save for some old-looking books scattered on the second bed, a few articles of clothing strewn across the floor, and...

"Is this _my_ yellow pillow?" Carmilla hummed in affirmation. "Where did you find it?! I thought it was lost when our dorm collapsed into the fish pit?"

"When I left that first time, after we broke up, I knew you and the others wouldn't try entering a condemned building to find me, so I went back to our old room and hid out there until I decided to return." As she spoke, Carmilla began walking around the room to find a change of clothes for Laura, and socks and boots for herself. "Your pillow had fallen under my bed, which is why I didn't see it that time when I grabbed things like my books and your TARDIS mug. I think I slept with that thing for two weeks before it lost your scent." Carmilla didn't hear Laura walking up behind her as she spoke, so when a pair of arms snaked around her middle, she nearly jumped out of her skin. "Geez, cupcake, am I going to have to put a bell around your neck?"

"Says the girl who can turn into a giant black cat," Laura said with a straight face, which she managed to hold for about a second before bursting into laughter. "I'm sorry," she choked out between fresh bouts of giggles. "I couldn't help myself!" She quickly sobered up as a thought occurred to her. "Wait, can I shift into an animal now?"

A pair of jeans and a t-shirt were tossed at her from across the room. "Get ready and maybe we'll find out."

* * *

They left through a back entrance of the dormitory to avoid being seen, and headed for the woods surrounding the university. Even though it was two in the morning and they couldn't see anyone around, Carmilla had them keep a normal (human) walking pace just in case. "You saved the day, and the anti-supernatural propaganda pretty much died with Vordemort, but there's still a few Summers and Zetas around that would love to try to kill a vampire anyway."

Laura bumped her hand against Carmilla's, who took it and entwined their fingers. "I'd love to see them try, once you teach me everything you know."

After they had walked half a mile into the woods, Carmilla asked with a grin, "Ready to run?"

Her answer was a baby vampire racing off through the trees at a breakneck speed. Laughing, she set off to catch up to her, following the whooping sounds Laura was making.

They just ran for a while, allowing Laura to get used to her new speed. Her reaction time for jumping over roots and dodging around trees got better over time, but Carmilla still cracked up every time she saw the other girl trip or smack face first into a tree trunk.

"It's nighttime!" Laura exclaimed after not seeing a low-hanging branch.

"You're a vampire now, cupcake. With our eyesight, it might as well be noon."

Laura grumbled, but was having too much fun to really be sullen, and took off running again.

Eventually they found themselves near a village. As they crept up to a house with its lights still on, Laura realized that her hands could still get clammy. She knew she wasn't going to be feeding, but Carmilla wanted to make sure she could control her hunger before reintroducing her to the general population.

Carmilla knocked on the door as soon as Laura nodded that she was ready. When an old woman answered, they pretended to be cold and lost.

They were invited in for tea, and as they settled into a loveseat in the woman's living room Carmilla explained that they were camping somewhere in the woods, but "When Laura here got up to pee, she didn't want to go alone, and we got spooked and ran when we heard animal sounds in the bushes." She managed to look bashful enough that even Laura believed her. "We tried to find our campsite again, but after wandering for so long, we saw the lights of the village and came here to see if anyone had a phone so we could call for a ride back home."

Laura could feel Carmilla watching her carefully from the corner of her eye, which filled her with relief. She could hear the old woman's heartbeat, and felt her fangs emerge at the scent of the living being before her. She concentrated on the hot cup of tea in her hands though, and on the feeling of Carmilla sitting so close to her on the tiny couch that she was practically sitting in her lap. It grounded her, and when Carmilla excused herself to use the landline in the kitchen to 'phone home', she was able to maintain a pleasant conversation with their host without leaping over the coffee table to tear out her jugular instead.

Carmilla returned shortly, saying that someone would be able to pick them up from the nearby highway. The woman insisted that they take a spare flashlight, and started showing them the way back to the front door. In her excitement for restraining herself so well, Laura accidentally used her new speed to run to the door, and the old woman fainted.

"Don't worry, you'll get a hang of that within the next couple weeks," Carmilla reassured her as they made their way back into the woods to head home.

* * *

It turned out that Carmilla actually had made a phone call back in the village. When they got back to campus, there were two boxes sitting just inside the dormitory entryway, containing some clothing for Laura, packets of hot cocoa, a box of freshly baked cookies, and Laura's cell phone. On top was a note in LaFontaine's messy handwriting:

_"C - Thanks for the call. Tell L to text or call when she's ready, we'd love to hear from her. I know she doesn't need cocoa or cookies anymore, but we thought she might like them still anyway. Good luck with baby vamp training! -LaF"_

As they carried the boxes up to their room, Laura decided she would call her friends the next afternoon, and if she felt up for it, they could visit the house together the following evening. It would give her a couple more days to get proper control of everything, even if she was feeling pretty confident right now.

Depositing her box on the empty desk, Laura headed to the bathroom to take a shower. She was sure her hair was full of twigs, and her face and arms covered in dirt, even if the scratches and bruises from all of her falls had already healed. She pulled the door open, but it was a little too hard, because the entire door came off its hinges.

"Well, at least we aren't shy about seeing each other use the bathroom," Carmilla quipped from where she was already lounging with a cookie on her bed. Laura almost threw the door at her, but set it off to the side instead.

After a long shower and dressing in a tank top and pajama pants, Laura walked back out  into the bedroom to find that Carmilla had made hot cocoa. She turned to thank her, but Carmilla had dozed off with an open book across her chest. Laura picked up her TARDIS mug, excited to see how being a vampire might change her tastebuds, only to find with the first sip that the liquid was lukewarm. She frowned, and in the brief moment that she thought about re-heating the cup in the microwave, the curtains on the window beside the sink went up in flames.

"Oh crap! No, no, no, no, no!" Laura ran out to the hallway to grab a fire extinguisher, and ran back to put the fire out.

The fire alarm began blaring just as she ran back in, waking Carmilla from her nap. "Laura, what the hell is going on?"

"I forgot you - we - have pyrokenesis, and I guess thinking about reheating my cocoa triggered mine, and now the curtains are on fire," she explained as she pointed the hose at the flames and pulled the trigger.

She heard Carmilla swear as she came over. "I'm a lousy teacher. I should have remembered to show you how not to set things on fire."

"Hey, that's why we're alone, right? So things like this can happen and I don't endanger everyone else." Laura nudged the other girl with her elbow as they worked to pull the curtains down to wash them off. "I think you've been a great vampire teacher so far, Carm."

After rehanging the wet, singed curtains, and reheating both of their mugs, they sat on Laura's bed with the tin of cookies between them. Carmilla racked her brain for all of her abilities - "No, we can't fly, but we can 'poof' from place to place." "Like disapparating! That's so cool!" - and explained how some of them worked in theory. Things like poofing - "I'm going to call it disapparation, I don't care how much you call me a nerd." - would take a lot longer to get down, but it wasn't a risk around civilization, unlike her new vampire strength, hunger, and speed.

When Carmilla brought up how to shift into animal form, Laura started bouncing on the bed. "Can I try that right now?"

They moved the desk and the detached door out into the hallway to make plenty of space, since Carmilla explained that they had no way of knowing what kind of animal Laura would shift into. They stood in the middle of the open area, facing each other.

"I hope I'm not something lame, like a llama."

"Focus, nerd. Clear your mind, and just give in to your animal instict. As apex predators, no matter what animal it is, we just have that underlying animal side. Don't think too hard, just... _be_." With that, Carmilla closed her eyes and transformed into the sleek panther that Laura had grown fond of. Shifting back to her regular body, Carmilla gestured in Laura's direction. "Your turn."

Laura closed her eyes. She thought she was going to have to search deep within for what Carmilla was talking about, but as soon as she started looking, she could just feel it. It was thrumming, like the pulse she no longer needed. She latched onto that, clearing her mind of everything else, and felt herself begin changing.

When Laura opened her eyes, she realized she was only as tall as the top of Carmilla's boots. Looking down, she could see fur and paws. Glancing back she saw a stubby tail. Her fur was a golden-brown, and there were black spots littered throughout her body.

It took Laura a moment, but she figured out how to shift back to her regular form. "So what am I? A cat?" she asked as soon as she had a human mouth again.

"You looked like a bobcat, so you'll get bigger as you get older. I'd hoped you would be something like this, so we would match."

They both grew quiet at that, as it touched on the subject of their relationship, and they hadn't discussed where they were yet. Laura remembered admitting she loved her, right before she died, but that had been it, and it wasn't as if she could assume that they were back together just because they were both immortal now.

They began talking at the same time - "I, uh, I don't suppose we could..." "Do you want to talk about..." - and then went quiet again.

Laura walked over to her bed and sat with her back against the wall. She patted the spot next to her, and inwardly sighed in relief when Carmilla joined her.

They talked until well past sunrise, and decided that while they both recognized that they had a lot to work through, they would do it together. There were more admissions of love, plenty of apologies, and as the morning crept toward afternoon, the room was filled with whispers and moans of love and pleasure.

When Laura awoke in the evening, she briefly panicked when she couldn't feel a body next to her. She opened her eyes right as Carmilla, wearing only a pair of panties, walked over to the bed, handing Laura two cups, this time filled with blood.

"Good morning, cutie," she said with a husk as she pecked Laura on the lips and then climbed back in beside her. "Ready for more training on how _not_ to hulk out?"

Laura laughed sarcastically, glowering at Carmilla over the lip of her cup. "Sure, maybe today I'll only destroy _one_ thing, and maybe I won't make anyone faint this time."

"While I couldn't care less if you crush Ginger One or Clifford when you go to hug them tomorrow, I do care if you break anything in that house." After a beat, Carmilla let out a small laugh. "No, actually, I really don't. But don't tell Mattie that."

They joked about what Carmilla's sister would do if she found out any of their mother's priceless belongings ended up in a thrift shop, which only served to tempt Carmilla even further.

After finishing her breakfast, Laura called LaFontaine to fill them in on how she was doing, and set up a time to come over the next day. Both parties were excited to be reunited, including Carmilla, even if she would never admit it.

Snuggled up beside her girlfriend, with forever stretching out before them and finally allowing herself to be in love, Laura couldn't believe how well things had turned out for her.

She froze though as she was struck with a sudden thought, and then slumped backward into her pillows. " _Crap_ , what am I going to tell my dad?"

 

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on tumblr: bibecamitchell


End file.
